What an idiot...

I thought it was over. Really.. But i felt that if i don't say something, it is getting more and more out of hand.

It was supposed to be a simple case of miscommunication. Is it?

It is only dance partner. We are not choosing our life partners here are we? Frankly, i believed that if i really want it, i can aced that examination no matter who i'm partnering. Ok, sounds arrogant but really, i do think so.

I registered for the dance exam because i want to know how good i'm at it. It is difficult to know your own standard in the classroom. The best way is to take the exam isn't it?

Usually, during lesson i only dance with 3 person, not because of anything but simply because i thought they are the better dancers. If i wanna improve, i felt that i need a good partner. But that doesn't mean anything, does it?

I get a little bit mad when people speaks for me without asking me. I get even more angry when people assume things without even clarifying from me. Did i say i must have him as my partner for the exam? No. Did i say i am angry cos he does not want to partner me? No.

But i'm angry, not at the partnering but more at what was being said.

I don't actually wanna blog about this incident but now i felt i have to say something for myself. But before i say anything, i have to ask.. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?????

Maybe it is my last entry that started everything so let me explain it.

"Suddenly i was without a dance partner"
That was because Guy A says his partner is Gal A and Guy B says his partner is Gal A, which seems to mean that who is going to be my partner? For a moment i thought i must be a damn lousy partner, that's why no one wants to partner me.. However, it was only a misunderstanding and it is not because of me (and i thought there is something wrong with me).

"Suddenly i found one again"
Since Guy A wants Gal A to be his dance partner, that means Guy B had to partner me, right? So i asked him if he mind partnering me (because he is always partnering with Gal A most of the time and she is better in steps than me). I was really afraid he would say no, that would really mean i'm lousy. But he said, it is his pleasure to partner me. So, yeah! I'm not that lousy till no one wants to partner me, so i found my own dance partner.

This should be the end of the story right? Hell no.. It so happen that i was sick on the day where there is dance class and so i sms everyone the same msg that they have to master the steps and teach me (cos so much will be taught in a lesson and i will miss so much!!!).

Guy B replied, 'No problem, we will teach you'. Normal msg.

Gal A replied, 'Are you ok?'. Normal msg (*smile* It is nice to know that someone cares for you).

Guy A replied, 'Sure. Don't worry. Guy B will teach you'. I was stunned for a while. There seems to be an underlying meaning in this msg or am i being too imaginative?? So i sent another msg to test if it is my imagination working overtime. But the replied he sent back is definitely tells me that i'm not thinking too much.

Now, i'm furious! Let me clarify. I'm NOT desperate to dance with him and i definitely don't look at him in a strange way. Kaoz! Like that i also look at many people in a strange way lor. If that is the case, then i'm very busy liao. I didn't say anything because i thought it is pointless to rebuke (i've been through so many of this kind of experience) and eventually people will get bored of it and find other target. Maybe that is a wrong move cos it seems to send the wrong signal to other people that i'm admitting it.

So let me say it here once and for all. I don't like him and i'm not desperate for him to dance with me. Don't insult Guy B can? He is as good as Guy A in every way. What makes Guy A think he is so special that i must dance with him? Huh? Huh? If he looks like Lee Hom, maybe still so. What is he trying to tell me and other people? That i shouldn't habour hopes about dancing with him and he doesn't want to dance with me? What an idiot. Really. The more i'm blogging now, the more angry i gets.

@#$%^&@#$%^&@#%$^@#$%^&@##%%&&**

Ok, i felt better now. Mr A, have you ask me if i wanna dance you or you just assume that i must dance with you cos i'm desperate to dance with you? Please, oh please? If you think so, please kindly jump down from the tallest building in singapore. *roll eyes* I cannot be bother to talk to people who think that they are so great. The same goes to anyone who is thinking that i'm carrying a torch for them (whoever you are).

The only thing that i want now is my promotion! I'm working so hard all because of this. Of course, if i don't have lovable students, i probably won't be able to last so longer.. Sobz..

Anyway, now that i have say this out, it probably is going to cause some trouble or maybe major one. But, i can't care more now. If i remain silent, it would seem like he is right.

So, Mr A. I know you don't wanna dance with me and it is ok. But it is not ok that you put me in such a light to other people.

If there are only 2 pieces of cake left, i would ask my friend to take both. Cause i never really like to eat cake anyway.

I had always like ice cream better.