Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Am I really that lousy as an Educator?

My eyes still sting from yesterday’s emotional breakdown.

I have learnt to let go of certain emotions and be more positive of the situation. I have really tried my best to change for the better. But I’m still made to feel that I’m just not good enough for the school.

What happened yesterday really cross the boundary. I’m not upset about her saying that I still appeared to be inefficient in my teaching but rather I was upset about having her taking over my lesson.

You can be unhappy with my style and my teaching or even to feel that I’m not good enough but that does not justify the action of taking over the lesson and putting me down in front of my students. To me, that is not only unprofessional but it is also disrespectful. I may be a junior in your eyes but age is not a factor for respect.

I have really tried my best to change to your liking but there is always something new that you do not like. There is always something more that is negative. What about the good things that I have shown? Is there really none? Why do I always feel that everyone can have a say is just trying to put me down? Just because Hilter feels that I’m not good enough, everyone has to find something to say about me?

I may be emotionally stronger than my neighbour who is current hospitalized from depression but that does not mean I’m immune to it.

I am just starting to feel that maybe I’m just not suitable for this profession.

3 Wishes granted:

  • At 5:12 PM, Anonymous saugaat said…

    i am sorry about whatever happened to you in this teaching profession, being your good friend i could only say that i am with you to share your pain. may be this will make you feel little fine and little okay. saugaat

  • At 10:16 PM, Blogger peccavi said…

    Nooo! You can't let them get you down! Just hang in there, you are made of stronger stuff than them!

  • At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Use the holidays to find yourself, and stay true to it. Your teaching style should reflect who you are. Perhaps all you need is a change of environment. After all, a reporting officer's job isn't just that of an assessor - she's meant to be someone who helps you improve. And you can't improve if you feel bad. Anyway, you've been there for 3 years already bah...? KJ


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