Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

With regards to Ray's comments..

Damn! I only saw Ray's comment after i posted the last blog. But i felt that there is a need to reply so that's why i'm posting this.

First, with regards to your first statement in your post ('How do you even begin to comment on a post like this that demands attention?'), i'm not demanding attention with that blog entry. It is just a spur on the moment thought to type it because 1. I'm too tired from doing work, 2. I just wanna share some of thoughts and 3. I never demand attention for it. I never thought that entry would results in any comments.. Er.. ok a few...

Second, yes i'm abit jealous of my friends but i dun curse nor swear at them for having lifes that i yearn to have. Maybe you had misunderstood my lines but what i mean is i envy them, not angry at them. I do congrats them if you do not happen to know about it. I wish to do something like what they are doing but that does not mean i'm wallowing in self pity. I do not remembering telling all my friends how bad a life i'm leading. i merely meant that the inferiority makes me feel that what i'm doing was not enough and does not hold much meaning. Life in my school is hard but i do see myself trying harder for what i want (for eg my 2G). I remember i posted that i did very badly for the 1st obs with 2G and for my 2nd obs, i actually did very well. I won't lie and say that it is easy. I tried for hard to make it better. So with regards to the statements 'It took a long time to climb out of that abyss. But the first step is to excommunicate yourself from the self-pity.', I would like to say that i dun see myself in the so called abyss that you claimed i'm in. Lemme say that my relatives are very smart people as well. In fact, all my aunts, uncles and cousins graduated from colleage like RJ, NJ or HCJC and i'm only from YJ. But never once am i ashamed to say that i'm from YJ (even till now), for i see nothing wrong in not being able to go to good JCs. I have tired my best and i accepted that. For your info, my sis scored a fanstastic L1R5 score which double of mine too. I have sibling pressure too but i accept that fact that she is smarter than me and i had a wonderful 2 years in YJ. For your info, i tends to blame myself more when things dun go the way i want to. People who knows me really well knows that.

Lastly, i know i have many great friends around me who support me so much. And Ray, i still hold big dreams that i believe one day i will be able to achieve it.

Seriously, i never thought that entry would cause all this. It is just one of those down moments when you feel less of yourself. I mean everyone has ups and downs and that is just one of them. Nonetheless, i thank all those who had commented and given me contructive advices.

1 Wishes granted:

  • At 10:37 AM, Blogger Ra said…


    'lax.. I know you did not demand for replies. I was merely referring to the phrasing of the post that have certain effects on the readers.

    It triggers an urge to want to response. Failure to do so makes the reader skins and bones itchy all over.

    Hence, the post demands thus, not the author.

    Sorry if my wordings make you cringe...


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