To the one friend whom will be greatly missed
How do one even start to describe a day like the one i have today...
I start off the day with me dressing up for my usual Lindy gathering. Everything seems perfect till i receive a call from a secondary school friend whom had not contacted me for at least 2 years. It was not a good call. It was to inform me that one of my classmates had passed away. He was not only a classmate but a rather good friend of mine. The first reaction i'd was to tell my friend not to joke abt such stuffs. I knew she wasn't joking but i just couldn't accept this fact. Is she talking about V who just lived opposite my block? Is she talking about the V who used to sit behind me in class? Is she talking about the V who never fail to wish me for my birthday? Isshe talking about the V who always send me a new year card?
How do one accept such a fact? The first time that i'm gonna see him in 3 years is at his funneral. The first time in 3 long years that i'm gonna meet him is in a cold, hard coffin. I start to blame myself. Why din i contact him when he was back from Australia a year ago? I felt regret that i did not get to see him when he was well and alive. He lived just opposite me! How could i not have contacted him???? Maybe i really do take things for granted. Always take it for granted that i will receive his new year card every year. Always take it for granted that there is always time for me to arrange an outing with him and the rest. Always take it for granted that since he lived so near me, there is always chance for me to meet him. And now i will never get a second chance anymore...
The whole day long, i received sms from ex-classmates asking me about his death and how did it happened. I felt so terrible. I'm one of his good friend and yet i dunno anything about it. The only thing i can do for him is only to help contact the rest to go for his wake. I didn't wanna go to his wake alone. Because i will never know how to react at a funneral. What should i say to his family? I would rather go with a group of friends so that at least i can hide myself among them. I can't and dun wanna handle such situation. People at my age dun go to friends' funneral and yet i had been to 4. Why is life so fragile??
I just wish the light on his death would come out soon. I seriously hope that his death is neither sucide nor murder.
I start off the day with me dressing up for my usual Lindy gathering. Everything seems perfect till i receive a call from a secondary school friend whom had not contacted me for at least 2 years. It was not a good call. It was to inform me that one of my classmates had passed away. He was not only a classmate but a rather good friend of mine. The first reaction i'd was to tell my friend not to joke abt such stuffs. I knew she wasn't joking but i just couldn't accept this fact. Is she talking about V who just lived opposite my block? Is she talking about the V who used to sit behind me in class? Is she talking about the V who never fail to wish me for my birthday? Isshe talking about the V who always send me a new year card?
How do one accept such a fact? The first time that i'm gonna see him in 3 years is at his funneral. The first time in 3 long years that i'm gonna meet him is in a cold, hard coffin. I start to blame myself. Why din i contact him when he was back from Australia a year ago? I felt regret that i did not get to see him when he was well and alive. He lived just opposite me! How could i not have contacted him???? Maybe i really do take things for granted. Always take it for granted that i will receive his new year card every year. Always take it for granted that there is always time for me to arrange an outing with him and the rest. Always take it for granted that since he lived so near me, there is always chance for me to meet him. And now i will never get a second chance anymore...
The whole day long, i received sms from ex-classmates asking me about his death and how did it happened. I felt so terrible. I'm one of his good friend and yet i dunno anything about it. The only thing i can do for him is only to help contact the rest to go for his wake. I didn't wanna go to his wake alone. Because i will never know how to react at a funneral. What should i say to his family? I would rather go with a group of friends so that at least i can hide myself among them. I can't and dun wanna handle such situation. People at my age dun go to friends' funneral and yet i had been to 4. Why is life so fragile??
I just wish the light on his death would come out soon. I seriously hope that his death is neither sucide nor murder.
3 Wishes granted:
At 12:58 PM,
Raymond Chng said…
Close friends and relatives of the deceased who are in a state of grief will not be in the state of mind to listen to any logical discourse on life and death. Mostly, we can only offer encouraging words and sincere prayers. But it will be enough. Nothing encourages the grieving more than to see people making the effect to pay respect to the decease. Alone or otherwise, everyone counts.
= = = = =
A mother, whose child had died, sits dazed on the roadside. Probably no words can heal her heart. And passers-by, unable to do anything for her, will finally have no choice but to walk briskly past…
But the truly compassionate would sit down at the mother’s side. And he might continue sitting there, not saying a word. Even if no words were exchanged, the mother would sense the warm reverberations of the spirit of concern…
Eventually, the mother would lift up her face, and there before her eyes would be a pair of eyes that understands the sorrows. He would nod, and the mother would nod back in reply. Even without words, there is no greater encourage than such heart-to-heart exchange…
At length, he would stand up, and the mother would probably rise. Then, together, they would advance forward one step, and then another…
He would continue to tirelessly offer encouragement, until the mother can lift her head high, until she could determine to lead a life of great value for her dead child’s sake.
= = = = =
Especially with regard to a previous loss of a dear friend before V which you shared, I sincerely hope and pray that your wounds would heal completely eventually.
*nods*
At 8:47 PM,
peccavi said…
Dear gal, I don't know what to say. Grief is not easy to deal with and I think the family would appreciate the thought that you care enough to pay your last respects to V. Sometimes, there is no need for words.
It's too late to think about the chances you could have met up with V, the times you could have caught up with him. However, it's not too late to think about how you can catch up with good friends from the past.
Dear gal, I feel sorry for you, and I hope you will be strong. Take care.
At 10:49 PM,
JOEL said…
It's sad when this type of thing happened to people around us. I can understand ur feeling but the people that are feeling the worst nw is definitely V's family. Imagine the shock they experienced when they received the call.
But there is simply nothing you can do to help the family at this point of time as no amt of words will comfort them at tis pt of time. Time will heal every hurt that they suffered and let every sad memory fades away eith the passing of time.
Let this incident be a wake-up call to u that u shld really appreciate the company of ur family n ur friends ard you. Don't take everything for granted as no one can knows what is going to happen the nxt moment.
Lastly, I hope that you can face every new day of ur life with joy n happinness.
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