Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

What really happens..

I was thinking really hard about this post and if i shouldn't even blog about it. After all, i dun have to explain to everyone about everything.

It was a bit upset for me to see certain things but then everyone has a right to bring up their view. I'm not correcting anyone, so voicing out my part.

I could have taken the easy way by accepting what my HOD suggest for me. Just simply send that particular student to sit in front of the general office everytime i have a lesson with that class. But i thought that it would be unfair to deny him to study so i rejected. I tried talking to him about why he is so disruptive in class, i tried to show him that he can actually do good with his school work. I think deep in him, he knows i'm right but somehow, he just doesn't want to show it. He was disruptive in every lesson, not only mine. Everything i walk by the class, i would see him sitting outside the classroom cos he'd been punished. So, i had never sent him out of the classroom, most of the time, i would give him more work to keep him occupied.

On that particular day, he was simply too much. He was pushing his classmates and falling over the chairs and laughing loudly, simply ignoring the fact i was in the classroom. I told him to go back to his seat and take out his book which he obliged. But when my back is turned to face the others, he go back to the same way again. The rest of the class is looking at me, for me to hand out some punishment to him (because everytime, he is the one who is disrupting the class from lesson). I felt that i've to give him a signal that he is not special in my class and he too had to be punished like the rest. So i told him to stand up and go to the back. He started to curse me, at this point his malay friends are giggling. Frankly, i was too exhuasted to deal with him, so i told to report to the general office to explain why he threw vugarities at me. This got him mad and when he walked by me, he hurl a chair at me (which actually hit me on my leg). I've to say, it was really upsetting for me. But i have to pretend like i'm strong and hand him over to the DM. I even explain to the class why i have to send him down. Many of the students supported me and told me after my lesson that they think it was really mean of him to do that. They also asked me not to be too stress cos they know their class was not a easy class.

After the lesson, i skipped my lunch and went to talk to him. I told i really want to help him but he has to give me the chance.

This is not the first time i'm writing about it and this won't be the last. I really doesn't know how to handle that class. I really tried my best but it was simply not enough. I'm not mad at the student, i'm just upset about it. I'm more mad at how the school treated this incident.

If there is anyone who was suspecting at how i treat me students, i can say at least i know i treated all my students fairly and i'd never said a word of harshness to them before.

P/S: I'm not allowing comments on this post because i dun wanna it to turn out to be a arguing incident. It is OVER. I'm done with it.