Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Happy Chinese New Year?

Everyone seemed to be basking in the joyous Chinese New Year. Although it is not a bad holiday for me, it is not exactly a happy one. I know human nature is ugly but it felt worse when it comes from your relatives.

I have not stepped into any relatives’ houses for this happy occasion. It is not that I’m too lazy to go ‘Pai nian’ but rather my family is not welcome. We have been shunned due to my father’s condition but I never thought that they would be so cruel.

One grandma claims that her flat is too small for my dad’s wheelchair and thus if we were to go visit her, my dad would have to remain outside the house and is not allowed to enter the house. Honestly I feel like cursing her with all the vulgarities that I have known. What mother would say such a thing to her son?

The other grandma is more straight to the point. She bluntly told us that my sister and I could go and visit her but not my dad because she does not want people to know that she’d a son-in-law who is wheelchair-bound.

Am I supposed to be ashamed of my family now that my dad is not well?

What is wrong with these people?

I am a family person. Whether my father is well or not, he is still my dad. I’m not ashamed to bring him because he did not ask to be in this state. Yet people kept pushing us away even when we did not ask any of them for help. It is as though my dad’s condition is contagious and it would spread if you come too close. I wonder, do they ever think that one day they might end up in the exact same path? How do they wish to be treated then?

Honestly, what is the point of having relatives when they are such incorrigible human? I will bet that if I have a million dollars now, they would not treat us like this.

Because of my dad’s illness, I have seemed the best and the worst of mankind. I had lost some friends but I had strengthened several friendships as well.

I will not change just because there may be other who looked down on us. I’m not ashamed of my family and I never will. We may not be rich but at least we have the moral values that normal people should have.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

New Year Resolutions

I have been running away from blogging for the past few months. It is not that i have ran out of subjects to blog but more of i do not wish to blog. I'm still running away from any topic that relates to work. Not that the previous posts were wrong but more of i do not know what i should do anymore. It is confusing and i'm still trying to find my way. So right now, i shall focus on my resolutions for the new year.

It may be a week later but still it is better than none. Here it goes...

  1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle (and that includes mental health too!). I have been quite sickly in 2008 and i have decided that in 2009, nothing will come between me and my meals. Not even work. I have insisted on regular eating because i NEED to. Hopefully, this resolution will hold till December.
  2. Be familiar with the roads of Singapore! I have been losing my way ever since i had started driving. However, i'm still quite a road idiot. My sense of direction had not improved and that is something i hope to obtain this year.
  3. Maintain a decent amount in savings. As many had known, i will be getting married next year and $$ is definitely going to be an important thing for me from now onwards. But that damn fine LV is standing between me and my savings.
  4. Get back into shape! I have put on so much weight over the course of last year that it is simply depressing. Now i just had to make sure that i will go to the gym regularly.. I hope *crossing fingers*
  5. Pack my room and my workdesk! My workdesk is practically a warzone and i have not touch it since 2 years back. I really need to set aside time to pack the desk so that i have space for marking again.

After many many years of writing this statement 'I want to get my driving license' in my resolution, i had finally managed to strike that off my resolution forever! Now i have to be worried about losing my way...