Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Monday, August 28, 2006

How do i view myself?

I was bored and did the quiz on YY's blog.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. (Too straightforward for my own good..) You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. (Very true!)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. (Huh? How come i dun see hunks swarming around me? Where are they?)

Your views on education:

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. (Is teaching considered an unusual job?)

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy. (My job tires me out all right..)

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I'm not so sure about the last paragraph. What do you think?

P/S: Thanks Ray for the advise which tells me to keep my own money or let others help me keep it. I think i rather keep it by my side. That is if i don't spend it first! Haha... With my membership for Amore, i should be lucky if i can afford bread!

For the next 25 months...

i probably will be very fit. At least i think so..

I think i must be crazy. Either that i'm simple very into getting fit now.

I'd just signed up for a 25 months package with Amore. That means i must go for at least 150 class in these 2 years to get my money worth. I'm so excited about the offer that i even told YY about (which she promptly upgraded her plan again.. haha). Now, i just can't wait to spend all my time there.

I'm such a shopacholic. I must learn how to SAVE!

Is there any seminars on teaching people how to save?

Friday, August 25, 2006

I also have stress!

I'm furious.

No, actually i'm more upset than furious.

I have been through a lot of shit in my current workplace but what had just happened really takes the cake.

I received a call from my HOD just now and the conversation is as below.

HOD: Hey, i need you to do something.

Me: Yes? (wondering what is so important that he has to call me so late)

HOD: I need you to set the sec 2NT CPA FYE papers.

Me: Huh? Why? I dun even teach sec 2NT.

HOD: I know but E who is teaching the class is setting 4 papers this FYE so he is very stress.

Me: (silent for a long while) But Mr HOD, i had been setting 5 papers for every important exams. How come you never send someone to help me set papers? I was very stress then too.

HOD: But you are only setting 2 papers this FYE.

Me: But i had used my June holidays to set the coursework while others are enjoying and i had just set the prelim. If you add it up, i'm setting a lot too. You can't count like that. It is not fair to me. Plus i had not taught them before, how would i know what to set and what standard to set.

HOD: But E is a beginning teacher.

Me: I was a beginning teacher when i was setting 5 papers. Yet i managed to do it. I believed he will manage fine.

HOD: Hmmm.. I was just checking with you if you wanna help.

Me: .....

HOD: So you don't want to help? Ok lor.

At this point, i was practically boiling at the other side of the phone. Why is that they always ask me to take over other people's work. Now i had to help BT do work as well? Am i really a slave to them? Did any of them really care when i was so stressed up setting 5 papers (marking all of them for all levels!) while the rest are only setting one or two? Did he care when i was busy setting and marking while the rest are enjoying in the staffroom? So now that E is stress, i must help him. Who had ever help me?

I call A if HOD had asked him to help set and he said no.

Who had helped me with my current form class. Who had care that i'm very stressed now. He can go and mark me down for not helping him for all he wants. But i do not care. I know well enough that if i agreed to set, i will have to mark and i'm sure my marking load is not light. If i set the papers well, no one will care or praise me for helping. If i didn't set the papers correctly, i will get it lor. So Mr E, i'm sorry but all BT go through that phrase ok. Set your own papers.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Fancy a kick?

I'm so tired from my kickboxing workout. I had always wanted to try it and now that i have done it, i loved it! Even though it is super duper tiring but it is totally fun.

I think the money spent at Amore is definitely worth it. I have never been more serious in getting myself fit and tone. Of course, the company makes a difference. YY is my greatest companion when it comes to workout. Now i'm tempted to sign up for the unlimited package as well. Should i?

My muscles are aching as i'm typing.

School has been crazy. An email sent on the late evening last Sunday causes every teacher in my school to go into a frantic mode. I think there will be a riot soon.

Hear during the meeting today that the teacher's day celebration would not be a celebration after all. The teachers will have to teach for 4 periods (which is half a day), sit through a 2 hours concert. But the best is yet to come, teachers are not allowed to leave school until 2.30pm! What is the reason? In case the ex-students are coming, teachers have to be there to entertain them. Since when we are obligated to entertain ex-students. What about teachers with no ex-students (like the beginning teacher?)? We also have to stay till 2 plus to accompany those teachers?

Isn't that a news? Teachers have to stay in school late than the normal school day hours on the Teacher's Day celebration? What kind of celebration is it? Isn't my school great?

I'm so looking forward to November.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I have a bad day

Spilling your hot pack of tea early in the morning does not make it a bad day.

Having students who are not listening to the lesson does not make it a bad day.

But having someone to tell you that what you have been doing is a waste of time and energy definitely transformed a simple, normal day into a bad day.

I never thought that spending my efforts and even my lunch hour to sources for good travel packages is a waste of time in some's eyes. Oh, how dumb of me to try to plan for the trip so that it would not be a flop. How stupid of me to go and source for deals. Like what you say, the trip is disposable, we will go if we can or we will leave it if we can't. How come no one tells me that in the first place?

The next time someone ask me why i don't wanna volunteer to do more, remains me to pull out this post and show it to him.

p/s: the song below is for anyone who is having a bad day as well.

Bad Day

This is definitely the song for the moment.

Bad Day by Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work up a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work up a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong


So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work up a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time

You had a bad day
You had a bad day ohhh
You had a bad day ohhh

Had a bad day ohhh
yea yea yea yea
Had a bad day
ohhhhh oh yea

Post National Day Thoughts

Disclaimers: This post was supposed to be up on the 10th but blogger is down. Due to sheer laziness and technical faults, this post was only posted now.

Post National Day.

One of the perks of my job is that i get to enjoy today as a holiday while the rest had to go to work.

Suzie organised a KTV session with 5 ppl turning up. Honestly, it was awkward for me to be there with the two other couple. YY, how i miss you!!!!

Salsa was tiring but fun. I'd a good time laughing at myself. However, it doesn’t seem to be the same anymore after Kirk has left. Maybe it is because I no longer had a fixed partner for dance and it is kinda strange. (you heard that Kirk? When are we coming out to dance?)

YY and i have a date tomorrow to have some workout session. I tried to persuade Suzie to join us as well but failed. It can really be a joy to literally sweat out all your frustration.

Today at the KTV, i asked J why he is not continuing his blog. He said that he doesn’t the time to blog and if he does, it will all be about complains of school and he doesn't want that. That sets me thinking. Ever since i have started in my current career, my blog had been degraded to my ranting ground. Maybe i should close it down like what J has does. But i have too much feeling for this little space of mine to give it up.

Work is frustrating as usually and having people who encouraging this thinking are unhealthy. I dread a little to go onto MSN sometimes, for i know there will be a few ppl who kept asking me the same qns.

"Are you gonna leave after 3 years?"

Time and time, i answered that i do not know and i do not wish to plan so early. I wanna just flow and see what is in store for me. I can understand that you faced the same frustration as well but bombarding me with the same qns again and again, is not gonna help you to make up your decision.

Q asked me some time back at a gathering if i would give up my career to be a mom and i said yes. I remember E replied that he was surprised to hear this as he had always thought that i was pretty career-minded.

I was or rather i still am. But I’m just losing steam in my current area.

I spent the first 6 months of this year, working hard and feeling frustrated when i realised that hard work is not gonna get me the promotion that I’d wanted so badly. Most of all, it made me realised a sad truth. I can work like i did, spending more than 12 hours in school and continue to work at home till late night. I can give up my social life and dedicate myself to work. But at the end of the day, when i reached home and all i can find are 4 cold walls, without anyone to ask me how is my day. I do not wish to be like some of my colleagues, i want to have a family.

Or maybe I’m just tired of the politics in my workplace. The kind of things I had to pretend to do, even if i do not believe in it. I was never good in curry favoring people. Until now, i couldn't believe that i had worked my ass off, only to find that it is not enough. Friends asked me not to request for too much, then the disappointment wouldn't be too great. I tried. In fact, as the new semester came, I’d given up on trying climbing in my job. But i faced a new frustration. Without the motivation that i had at the beginning of the year, i find no joy in working. I stopped volunteering for a lot of things which I know would only be taken for granted. I stopped having a reason to go to school. I'm at lost now. I do not know what i should do. To be the person to go forward in work but to be hit again and again by the harsh reality or be the person that I’m now, with no disappointment but no motivation to work? Why can't my working life be simpler? Why must I always be posted to such place? I do not wish to wake up one day and realised that I, too had put on a mask.

To anyone who has something negative to say about this post, hold it because I do not need it.

New update:

I disliked this kind of working culture. There can be 10 things assigned to me and I only need to screw up one to bring about another round of scolding.

Tell me, who can do every single task to perfectness? I admit I can’t but I tried my very best in work and I can say 9 out of 10 are quality work. There will always be this one last task left which I overlooked or made a mistake in some areas and that is all it needs.

People would just bite onto this one task which is not perfectly done and reprimanded me on it. I’m not looking for praises but hey, at least do not scold me like I’m a student k?

I have enough of people ranting at me because you are stressed. So? Is it because I’m young and inexperienced and therefore I should be treated like that?

I hate the so-called senior people who treat others like dogs. Screw them all.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Project Runway 2

I think my blog is pathetic. Two whole weeks went by and not a single entry from me. I tried to justify with the reason that i'm busy but the fact is that i'm too lazy to blog these weeks.

I weighed myself on the scale today and got a shock. I had put on 0.4 kg! Damn.. And i thought i should have lost weight. With all the exercise that i'm doing, i thought i would at least see some effect. I could swear that i had lost some flesh in my tummy and thighs. Maybe it is an illusion.

I'd just lost the interest to watch the latest session of "Project Runway", cos my favourite contestant was given the OUT vote. Bleah. Those so called famous designers have problems with their eyes.

Let me introduce Nick Verreos.

I know, he looks so gay. But that's the point isn't it? Gay people are supposed to be more in tune with fashion. They are the 'IT' people. ALthough he isn't exactly the most talented designer on the show, he definitely doesn't deserve to go home so early.

I have always dreamed of having a gay best friend, just like Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex and the City". Isn't that cool to have a good guy friend to talk about fashion and where to go shopping? I had have friends of those calibre. But they are either too old to really talk about fashion in my era or somehow they mystery disappeared to some other countries like Australia to further in Arts or fashion. Maybe i was born the wrong gender.

***Warming: If this post does not fit your taste, it is either probably you are not one of those fashionable people or i'm really really stress over the grading thing that i'm trying to talk about other things to take my mind off school. Somehow i kept thinking they might give me a D grade. The pressure is killing me.