Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Thursday, March 31, 2005

A stupid, freaking lousy day ever!

It is really irritating that blogger was down for the whole of last night! I was about to blog about my lousy when i realised that i can't cos the server is down for god sake! It is so frustrating..

I had my first CPA obsrvation by CT yesterday, and let me tell you, it went horribly wrong. The class is so f***ing noisy even when there are 4 teachers inside! They have no souls at all. They are proud to be the naughty and worse class in school. One of my CPA cp-teachers tried to console me by saying it is not so bad but i know it is pretty bad. My CT told the other teachers that he won't fail me for that observation but i know i dun deserve to pass. That class really makes me feel so down that i felt like a failure for not able to manage them. And my whole is simple destroyed by them.

When i went back to the staff room after my observation, i felt like crying. Really felt like crying. It is so horrible. Then there is this smart alec who came to tell me that 'Oh.. 2G? They are not so bad lah.. You can be more fierce and stricter lor'. Crap! Don't you just hate people who talks when they know nothing? Dun you just hate people who try to make situation seem very easy. I was so damn pissed! Who the hell do that person think he is! Does he teach 2G? No, he doesn't! If he dun, he doesn't has the right to tell me on how to manage them! How does he know i have not been strict with them. Those who had seen me taught before will tell you that i'm very strict and firece with my students! But that class simple see me as another relief teacher and brush me off. He keep saying i have power.. Yeah, what power? I can detain the students myself but they are so immune to it that they dun deemed it as a punishment anymore! I tried giving them offence forms, and i was told by the DM that it is not necessary as the class is like that and it won't be good as it will be in their record if i issue them. So what the f****! What can i do! He hasn't even try the power of that class. Yes, he may have relief them before but teaching them and reliefing is such a different issue! Maybe he dun mean it but to me, it sounds like a put down. It sounds like he is trying to tell me that my classroom management skill sucks. If he thinks he is so bloody good, go and teach that class! If he can control them as easy as he puts it, then i will bow to him, if not shut his big mouth up!

I'm sorry for my language but i'm just so damn pissed and frustrated. I have not slept more than 3 hrs for each day and it just seems never ending.. And i just hate it when i had spent so much time preparing for the class and they simple brush it off.

God! How i wish i have the power to shut them up...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Everyone is catching on the trend of writing blogs. Even Qing and Raymond had jumped on the wagon for the ride. Damn.. All my friends are like super good writers.. Maybe i should just read and stop blogging...

Monday, March 28, 2005

This is hilarious.. ONe of my friends just wrote a twisted story on cinderella where Cindirella becomes the main lead.. Write more about this story at here.
This is such a rare sight.. It is 3.07pm on my clock and i'm still typing away on my laptop in school. Usually at this hour, i would be packing my stuffs and preparing to go home. Before some smart alec start saying that i'm slacking, i usually went home early as i don't like to do work in school. Why you ask me? I guess i just don't like to see ppl peeking over at my comp to see what i'm doing. In case you haven't notice, i treasure my privacy very much and don't like anyone to invade it. Another point would be that i can't blast my mp3 in school where it would disturb the neighbouring teachers (Not as if i had a lot of mp3 in this laptop..)

I just love my Chem CT. He makes life so easy for me. He just told me that if i do not wish to conduct lesson tmr, i can go through the mistakes that the students make during today's lab session. Haha! That suits me as i need more time to prepare their notes which i have not done yet due to me slacking away (if you are wondering why, go read the previous blog entry).

Seriously, i enjoy the quietness of the staff room when there is no students. So peaceful. The noise that students made just gave me a headache...
Monday is my lab day. I have only 4 periods and it is all dedicated to the science lab. I'm still a bit lost when it comes to lab which is a big no no! Luckily, my CT is still taking over the chemistry lab till 2 weeks later as i have absolutely no idea how to conduct a SPA session. In case, anyone is wondering, it is not those kind of SPA where u go for leisure. SPA means School Based Assignment practical which is going to take place next year.

I seriously think i have play too much over the long weekend.. Now, i have so many things to complete! Sigh~~ Felt like slapping myself for being so playful...

I have 2 obsrvations by CT this week and i have not complete any of the lesson plans which i was supposed to.. How?? Somebody save me!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

All in a day's work.. What work?

If there is ever an award for the laziest person in Singapore, i would probably be awarded with it. It is a long weekend and all that i have ever done this weekend is to sleep. I slept for the whole of Saturday! Dun ask me how i manage to do it. Seriously, i dunno also. It is like my body is so exhausted that i just feeling like sleeping whenever i'm near the bed. Actually i felt like sleeping now too but i can't cos i have to my lesson plan first. =(

The most interesting thing i have done this week is probably catching the movie "Hitch". It is quite a nice movie if you ask me. I kinda like the plot. If only guys are as romantic as shown in the movies but the chances of that happening is even lower than striking 4D! A friend of mine asked me the other day on the phone , why i cannot trust guys. So i asked him, why should i? After thinking for a while, he answered me, "I guess you are right, never trust a guy". He confessed that he, himself had broke girls' hearts before. If you ask me, i would told you that all human are selfish. I believe that when a person likes me, he really do likes me but then nothing is forever, especially feelings. Things change and so do human beings. When that someone doesn't likes you anymore, it can be a cruel thing. I just wanna save myself from the heartbreaking process if that is what you are asking KP. But like you say, if i'm happy, so what if i dun trust guys, right?

ANyway, my eye lids are closing as i'm typing this.. Zzzzz.. Damn.. Still a long way to go before i can finish my LPs.. Why must there be school tomorrow?
Sometimes, i think my friends are leading a much more interesting life than me. This always occurs to me whenever i read their blogs. They have so many interesting things to write but me? I'm always complaining about practicum. I wonder if they are bored just by reading my blog anot. Haha..

Anyway, i wanna gve a big thanks to YY and Ray who helped up put up the blog counter for this website! Not that i need a counter lah but i just wanna add more things to make this empty blog looks better. Sorrie, i'm no IT expert but heh, you can hope for more things to come!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I was too tired to blog about my Sports meet yesterday. I think i will do that tonight and hopefully by then i have already figured out how to upload pictures. Haha..

I was feeling so tired this morning. Acutally still feeling tired now.. But after today, it will be a long weekend. There will be lindy hop tonight and i dunno if i can really dance anot. My knee still hurts.

Gotta rot till 1 plus for my last lesson, right now, it is back to lesson plans.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

As i was on my way to my last lesson of the day, one of the sec 4 boy stop me and asked me if i'm a relief or perm teacher. I just ignored him and walked away. He refused to give up and continuing asking me the same question (this got me pissed). So i replied "If you have paid any attention during assembly, you won't be asking me this stupid question". With taht i walked away. I guess he must be telling his friends that i'm some kind of stuck up teachers but seriously i don't wanna address students with this kind of behaviour. Though i'm a trainee, i'm a teacher nonetheless. Ha! I think i'm building up a very strict image with kids. The last lesson was a joy today though my laptop failed me and so do my voice. I couldn't stop coughing halfway through the class. My kids were so naughty, they suggested to let them off early for they 'fear' for my throat. Yah, right.. Haha..

One of my trainee friends came back from interview yesterday. She was worried she won't be posted to a JC. That sets me thinking. Why does she join teaching in the first place? Doe sit matters that much to be teaching in JC or secondary school? True, JC has less discipline but from what i heard of the revamped system starting from next year, it ain't gonna be easy to teach in JC. Friends are asking me to lookout for schools i would wish to join and write to them but i prefer to leave everything to MOE. I have seen cases where ppl tried so hard to get in to a school only to hate it when they are in. Maybe we should make the best out of everything. My practicum school ain't perfect but i guess there are still some plus points.

I'd lunch with my IT HOD yesterday and we talked about marriage. Andy shared his view on marriage and the teaching career. My IT HOD joking asked when i'm getting married, i replied that i'm waiting for the RIGHT person. If there isn't anyone, i rather be single. She laughed and name the various male teachers who are single and said that she can help. I thanked her and i told her that i prefer someone who is not in the same line as me. Imagine, having a husband who is in the same line as you and every night, all the topics surrounds school and students?! I perfer someone more interesting (hey, i'm not saying male teachers not interesting but limited topics to talk lah) and it would be good if he has Lee Hom's talents!! So unless the person you wanna intro to me has 50% of Lee Hom's plus points, i would tell you it would be better to intro him to someone else. Haha.. My eyesight too high? Maybe.. But hey, this is my life isn't it?

Enough about marriage and couplehood, tomorrow is my school sports day! Yippee!! The trainees are allocated the task of being the interhouse judges.. I hope the students won't hate us if they lose. But i guess it should be fun. Can still remember, the sport meet i attend last year.. My department won the staff race and i still have the trophy on my table.. Who says science teacher cannot run. Haha.. But i can't join the staff race this year, for my knee seems to get worse.. Hmmm...

*Yawn* Luckily there is no lessons tomorrow as i really don't feel like writing any lesson plans tonight!

Monday, March 21, 2005

Like what Yeing Yeing says, "What can goes wrong, will goes wrong". I have spend time and effort to prepare the stickers that i intend to use for observation today. It is only when i reach school that i realised that i have left it at home. There goes my effort for doing it! What is wrong with me these few days?? Bad luck seemed to be following me. In the end, i'm forced to come up with backup ideas.

I was about to curse today as the worst day of the week when my Sup gave me good comments for my observation today. She said i definitely did better than a pass grade. She would give me a credit grade but it will depends on what the school wants to give me. But hearing these is more than enough for me! Yippee!! That changes my mood drastically.

I finally got my new timetable for the semester.. As usual, there are mistakes in the timetable again but i'm smart enough to clarify with my CTs this time round. My CPA lesson was reduced from 6 periods to 4 periods. And of the remaining 4 periods, 1 of the periods clashes with one of my other subject class. In the end i got 3 periods off from my old timetable. That is a good news i guess.. Now i have less lesson plan to write. And Sports Day has been changed to this wednesday which means, i am able to skip my triple CPA periods with that class again!

Just when i thought maybe the day is getting better, the staff contact time drag till almost 7pm! Seriously, some of the stuffs that they discussed is so not related to us.. Me and my trainee friends are basically just stoning at the meeting. To end the day, i fell off the stairs when i was going home and hurt my knees.. Now they hurt.. I hope i will not be limping tomorrow = (

Am running off for my daily dose of TV series, the Desperate Housewives!

Sunday, March 20, 2005

It is amazing how work can get a person to feel so low. I felt so piled up with work right now that i can't breathe.. As i'm doing one stuff, i will be reminded that i have another stuffs that i need to do. It seems never ending =~(

The most unlucky thing happened to me yesterday. My thmub drive crashed. Yes, u heard it correctly, it crashed. ?I was about to email the lesson plan to my supervisor when i realised that the data that is stored in my thumb drive have all gone! *Grasp* Can u imagine my horror?? My days of hard work gone down the drain. I have to redo the whole LP and my Sup is rushing me for it!! Then as i'm feeling very bad about it, i realised i had stored all my LPs in that thumb drive.. Yes, i have lost all my LPs and i have to redo every single one that i have completed. Shucks! What lousy luck! Not to mentioned the PPT slides that i have prepared for my classes... That has to be redo also.

So u would have guess now, i'm trying to do as much as i can. I'm just blogging this to vent a bit of my frustration. I dun trust IT stuffs anymore. To the hell with them...

I missed my Dear Lee Hom's signature party at IMM.. Can anyone be more sad than me now? =~(

Thursday, March 17, 2005

May you live a better live there!

This blog is to dedicate to my beloved hamster who had just died =~(
Thanks for all the good times you share with me.I wish i'd spend more time with it but i was always busy with something else.
Guess it is too late to say that now...

It is a busy day. I left my house at 7.50am in the morning to go back to NBSS for remedial classes. And after that is a mad rush home and then to meet yy and company. I was late for 45 mins *Oops!*

The KTV session was quite fun. But most of us seem to be affected by the cough bugs.. Ok, maybe me and GQ only.

Lindy session is getting better every week. Maybe it is the fact that i'm getting better at the steps. Haha.. But still i tend to get confused by the dance steps.. Turn too much liao!

Ok, i know this blog is super short.. Every paragraph is like super short but then i'm only writing it for the sake of my dead hamster. Tired now, have to go do my lesson plan =(

I hate practicum!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I feel like scratching my head out now... Not that i'm having an itchy head now but that i simple can't get a word out for the observation lesson plan. This is such a bummer. I have been sitting in front of my computer for the whole day and yet i can't even start doing it. Sigh~~ I dunno am i being too stress on the fact that it is going to be observe by my sup or what.. But somehow i just can't do it =(

I felt like i have been trying to escape from all the works that i need to do. It is already the halfway through the March holiday and i felt like i have not get anything done. Seriously.. What is this brain of mine doing???

Monday, March 14, 2005

I'm exhausted from writing the stupid essay. Seriously, how is one essay going to help us on managing the class? No? I don't see how too. Anyway, i'm done with it (1800++ words, exceed the limit some more!) and i have no desire to see it again.

The March holidays are finally here. Yeah! I'm happy but only for while till i thought of all the lesson plans i have to do and the chemistry assignment i have to complete. Been a teacher is tough lemme tell you. I hate it when i hear people telling me how fortunate i'm to have an easy, well paid job with holidays. Yeah yeah, i'm smiling even in my dreams. As if!

I'm actually blogging at 12am! I think i need more entertainments. Anyone wants to entertain me?

P/S: Can anyone can me to add more things to this blog? It is getting boring...

Saturday, March 12, 2005

You tell me!

When it comes to love, there is simply no such thing as a tag to ensure that both parties will remain faithful to each other or there will be a money back guarantee. If that is so, don't you ever wonder, then how can one trust another in this world that is packed with lies and more lies?

I have a friend who told me that she trust her boyfriend 100% cos they are in love and that is what it is all about. But as her words are still ringing in my ears, i happened to caught her boyfriend holding hands with another woman on the street. I pondered for a very long time if i should tell her. (Sometimes, i wonder.. Why do i always caught my friend's bf cheating on them?!) In the end, i did. I think the smarter ones can guess what the reaction is. Of course, she never be believed me. Didn't thought she will neither.

Seriously, i'm kinda sianz about catching other people's boyfriends cheating on my friends. Because, i will have to face the tough decision of telling or telling. Even, if i told them, most don't believe me. What the f***?

So i'm making my disclaimer, dear friends if you decides to cheat on your partners, pls go somewhere where i can never run into you.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I was just saying that i hope everything goes well and i spilled my milo onto the floor in front of students! Arrgh.... It is damn boring in staff room.. My next lesson is at 3pm.. Sianz..

The best day ever!

It was a nice day yesterday so i must blog about it. It will probably be the happiest day i will spend in my practicum school for the whole 10 weeks. The sec 3 students went for their adventure camp since monday, so yesterday was a mass learning journey day for all the other students. I was assigned to follow a sec 4 N(T) class to URA centre. I have brought another class there last year but it is always nice to just walk around with the students in air-conditioned place. The class was noisy but quite pleasant and kinda cute too.. After a while, you will realised that they are still just kids. We are supposed to stay from 10am till 11.30am at the URA centre but the whole journey ended at 10.30am (remember they are NT kids and don't really appreciate exhibition..). We had no choice but to call the bus uncle to come fetch us earlier.. The bus arrive at 11am and we reach school at about 11.30am.. Poor kids, they can't leave till 12pm so we have to detain them at the hall till 12pm.

From 12pm, i start to rot in my cubicle, marking books and worksheets while waiting for my other trainee friends to come back from their learning journey. In case, you were wondering, it is cos i've decided to leave the school real early. Anyway, i got my wish and at 1.10pm (Ha! Probably the earliest!), the 6 of us proceed to sign out. It is a pity that Andy had to join his wife for lunch and can't join 5 beautiful ladies for lunch at Sakae. Somehow, all of us are in excellent mood and we just laugh non-stop at lunch, ignoring the bunch of students who is sitting behind us at the next table.

I took the longest nap i did after i reach home and proceed to do my lesson plans when i woke up in the evening. Am still smiling when i went to bed..

The day must have been too comfortable yesterday that i felt tired just waking up today to teach. The students are rather restless as well from their camp. I pity them.

Hope the rest of the day goes well..

Monday, March 07, 2005

I just had another failed lesson with my beloved 2G again. For a double period, i didn't manage to even get them to open their textbook. I spent one period punishing them and getting them to be quiet and to the lab. There i spent another period (waiting for the technician actual!) to find out how to use the software to take over the students' computers. But it is a total failure anyway. I know some of the students actually gave me the loser signal behind my back. It set me thinking again.. Is it me? Or is it the students? It is so tiring not to be able to teach any stuffs or carry out my lesson plan. Seriously, i felt like giving each of the students a tight slap in the face. But of course, i won't and can't anyway. But it is so frustrating.. It seems like i'm the only trainee in my school who has this problem. People keep consolling me that it is normal cos they are the most famous class in the whole school and none of the teachers (Except for those discipline teachers) can control them. Teachers keep asking me to be strict with them.. I'd tried but still none works.. Sigh~~ I'm open to suggestions..

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Just a bad day yesterday!

It is onl 9.30am in the morning and i'm feeling damn tired already.. I'm dozing off on my desk as i'm typing this. I dunno why i'm so tired. Maybe cos' of the stupid class that i had taught yesterday. This is the first time i couldn't handle a class even though it is a normal technical class. I had been through worse class but still i managed to get them under my control. Somehow i just couldn't build that rapport with the class, maybe it is cos i'm damn frustrated with the school system here. The principal always trying to make it look good but i can summarized in 2 words; It sucks!

The only good thing is that i'm assigned a laptop to my own and can enjoyed music and internet access on my very desk but then my desk is in a place where everyone and anyone can see me. This is not a good feeling.. Anyway, i have side-tracked. Back to the stupid class. I thought about it the whole night and i suddenly realised that all my methods don't works because they have no sense of moral in them. They are so big of themselves that they think they are the biggest and teachers are nothing. The only way to deal with them maybe to treat them like they are nothing and not to give them face in any sense. I think you don't even have to be nice to them for they will not appreciate it. There are so many things a teacher can't do to punish a students (don't get me wrong, i don't agree on physical punishments). What can a teacher do if the school doesn't support? Seriously, i dunno. I'm just worried about my lesson observation and what will happen if my supervisor comes. I can foresee troubles. Damn!

And i'm wearing this pair of shoes today that is give me blisters on my poor feet. I guess i'd to go back home to change my shoes. How can i dance in this kind of shoes... i've been having bad luck recently.. Maybe it is really time to go 'pai pai' already.. sigh~~ I still have hours to rot away till my next lesson..