Brotherhood

Caught "Brotherhood" with a friend today at Plaza Singapura. For a korean show, it is acutally quite nice. But the impact of the war scene does not affect me as strong as the other war show does. But nonetheless, it is still sad enough for me to maintain my stand. I hate war. I'm a peace lover. Not trying to put down guys but serious i think war is something that man invented to boast their ego.

I still got so many stuffs to move to my new hall. Sigh~ The room is freaking small! It is almost the same size as my NUS hall, except that my NUS hall is single occupant while this is double. Pathetic. Really pathetic. Got a headache just thinking how to stuff my things into the room while crowding it. They don't have much bookshelf neither. Why, why can't i get new hall?? It is so much bigger. But then, there is nothing i can do now so forget. I just hope the mosquitoes there don't stink me to death! Better bring something to kill them. My forever nemesis.

Tomorrow is sort of the first official lesson i'm gonna attend. Well, one year out of school and now finally i'm going back to be a student. This should feel good except i've already feel boogle down by the workload of NIE liao. Time to buck up and work hard cos i've no money to pay the bond!

Just another ordinary day...

I'm so disgusted with some Singaporeans. This afternoon i was taking the MRT to Orchard to meet my friend. As the train approached the station, and the door opened and i was about to step out, the group of people waiting outside just rushed in. Pushing me all the way back into the train again. I was thinking, what happen to manner. These god damn disgusting people are so scared that they can't get a seat that they forgotten about their manner.

I still maintain my stand. I prefer my own little island where there is no rude people. Heh! That's cos i get to choose who i wanna to invite to stay in my island.

I'm so god damn broke this month due to all the taxi fares that accumulated up. My resistance for taking a cab is way high but alas! Sometimes, you just don't have a choice.

It is 4am now and i'm still awake, wasting my time away writing blog where i should have been doing my NIE stuffs.

Sigh~

I need to learn time management. Going to be 23 liao, cannot afford to be so childish anymore. The mention of my age makes me sad. I feel so old!!! But luckily people still thinks i'm 18. So maybe it is not that bad yet. I think i better get back to my work if not i'll have to sleep at 6am again!!

Where is the love?!

I felt abit low morale these few days. I do not know is it because i'm too busy or wat? But this feeling sucks. I was actually feeling happy the past few days, thinking that my life is finally changing for the better.

Sometimes, i think maybe it is not that God is not fair to me but i don't deserve it. Maybe i just like the feeling of living a sucky life that i can't stop doing things to make my life worse. Maybe it is all me and nobody else faults.

I do not know what i want. I feel like there are two me. And they are always arguing over one thing or another and that's why i'm always torn between decisions. Who am i? I cannot answer. But i sure am damn feeling lousy now. Where is my love??

Youth Day!

Initially thought today is gonna be another super boring day cos i was arrowed to go down with the student for the Youth Festival Opening Cermony at the National Stadium.But it turned out to be quite nice actually. Kinda makes me feel like i'm in my youth all over again, except with more responsiblity. I can still remember what it is like to participate in Youth Day, representing your school, getting the gold award. Alas! That was in the past liao. Now, my life is just one rat race.

I can't help but kept thinking what was i doing as a youth. The teens these days have so much power to do so many things that teens in my generation are not able to. Or maybe it is just me. During dinner with fellow colleagues from WGS, i just suddenly realised how much i'd missed out during my teen times.

I was never a sports person, cos i was simply too afraid to get tan. Thus, throughout my teen life, i remained as a polar bear(as nicknamed by my friends). Strangely as i get older, the more i feel the need to be active. It is like suddenly i wanna live my life.

Maybe it is not too late. Afterall, i'm not too old yet. Like what Yumin used to say, "If u dun do it now, when do you wanna do it? When u are so old that u need a crutch?"

"Happiness is a state of mind!" This is a sentence i've been using when things get tough these few weeks. Trying to maintain a positive mind. Not easy to do so but i'm trying my best. I figures that i'd to live even if i'm unhappy so might as well make myself happy.

I dunno if it is this kinda thinking that is making me do stuffs that i would never when i'm much younger. Or maybe this is just something i'm doing to make myself feels that i'm not that old.. Haha.. I know running away from reality but isn't this what all of us need sometimes? It is not so bad to be living in ur dream world sometimes. Afterall, the world is built from everyone's dreams. Maybe not all will be realised but there is always the chance that it will.

So what are we waiting for? Start dreaming and don't forget the 'doing' part!

Freedom

I think no one in this world has any freedom.
All of us are under some constrains in one way or another. Sometimes, we ourselves don't even know we are actually bird in cage.
This is a sad sad world.
Yes, i believe there are some happy people but how many percentage do they stand in the world population?
And i wonder how can they be so happy?
Have they never feel down before?
Or is everything just a play and everyone is acting.
Acting to be happy, acting to be rich, acting to be capable.

I think u can feel that i'm feeling down again.
These days, it doesn't take much to push me down.
There is simply no happy events in my life right now.
There have been some but i think it is fair enough to say that those days are not coming back.
It is not fair to say that i did not try to myself happy.
I tried that everyday but it just seems to be getting harder and harder. At times, i even wonder, why bother?
I just can't help but asking, when will i be free?
I've been finding this freedom for my whole life.
I just want some peace and seriously nothing else means anything to me anymore.
Things change, people change.
You can't grab anything and make it stand still.
So why bother to try to hold on to anything?
It will pass anyway.

I'm tired.
I think i'll go to sleep.
At least i may be able to find some peace in my dreams.