Just like the million others who is living under the same sky, I'm just trying to find that significant one to write my own fairy tale stories...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Lost again!

The season two of the series "Lost" will premiere on TV next thurday. Two whole hours of "Lost"! How exciting!

Thanks to a friend, i am finally able to catch up on the episode of the "Lost" season one series before "Lost" season two is shown. In a crazy period like this, catching the series is my only comfort..

Speaking of crazy period, isn't it strange that everything seem to pile on when you are having a busy schedule?? Then when it ends, you are suddenly being present with so much time that you felt lost about it. At least i feel so..

Ok, maybe everything happens for a reason.. For the next two weeks, i will be having a war with Mr Time. A war against time on setting of test papers and exam papers, to practise for my salsa exam, to meet parents of my form class, to prepare for the school speech day, blah blah.. The list goes on. And after the 3rd of Apr, things starts to move slowly again.. Arrgh... I hate crazy period like this. Zap all my energy away from me and makes me just wanna take a break.

Some of my fellow colleagues were counting down to the longer holiday.. But it still seem so far away.. Ok, i still have 'Good Friday' to look forward to...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It is only the 2nd day of Term 2, but it felt like 2 weeks.. Everyone in the staffroom seems to be rushing for time.

There was some serious Monday blue passing around yesterday. Luckily, my adorable secondary one kids helped to chase them away. What could be more happy than to spend time with innocent children.. Now if only they would remain like this..

Received an invitation from YY to join her for some salsa action today. Torn between practising for my salsa exam and setting of exam papers.. Some time ago, i was still rather confident of acing the exam but now as the day creeps nearer, the fear grew stonger as well. Sigh.. I think i must be C.R.A.Z.Y to even sign up for it.. What was i thinking then???

30 minutes more to Contact Time. I think i need a bite to chase away the sleeping bugs..

Btw, if anyone has any past year exam papers for sec one general science, can pass to me please??????

Monday, March 20, 2006

V for Vendetta

Please allow me to spout words of nonsense on this very entry. I need an outlet to release the surge of feelings that is running through my body now and what better place to do it, than on my very own blog.

First, i’m going do a little advertising for this movie “V for Vendetta”.

Produced by the team of people behind the movie “Matrix”, “V for Vendetta” does live up to its expectations. I will give the movie 4 thumbs up and a must see! It is too fantastic to be missed.

“V for Vendetta” is a movie about the idea of what the future of the world may be. People obeyed the government because the government knows what the people fears of. Everyone knows that something is wrong with the country but everyone is too afraid to speak up or to even find out what is wrong. For finding out the truth means that everything that they fear may come true.

Isn’t it very true? Every now and then, we can hear people saying that there is something wrong with this and that. However, isn’t it strange that with so many people realizing that something is wrong, no action was ever carried out?

Take a look around and you will realize that fear exists all around us. It is in the country, in the law and even in the classroom. It is so fundamental that it has become the norm.

We fear, that’s why the law works. The students fear, that why they are in the classroom. Don’t get me wrong, we need laws to have orders and I’m all for it. But when fear paralyzed your actions and thinking, where do we stand now?

Have we been subconsciously been controlled by the system without us knowing it? Or maybe we do know it but we are too afraid to make changes? In the world of today, is ideology really dead?

I remember an incident where a fellow ex-colleague and friend say that the only person who can change anything is one who works well with the rules and system. For, if you don’t, you will never get to the position where you will be granted with the power to make changes. He said that it is plain stupid to hold on to your idea stubbornly for you will never be able to do anything about it. Follow the rest and you will still get the tiniest hope of fulfilling your dreams. I remember thinking to myself that if that one person doesn’t even believe in what he dreams of, who ever will? How many people started out with ideas that they want to fulfill and how many of them went through the same process or rather the same mistake of following only to forget what truly matters to them years later. How many times have one compiled in order to get to a position where they thought they would be able to make significant changes, only to find themselves forgotten about the very things that they had wanted to change. Or maybe they still remember but executing the changes that they’d wanted in the first place, would change everything that they own now. No one is saint, and the ones that really is saint had disappeared from the surface of the earth, only to be worshipped in the forms of books and images. Power and money corrupts. This unfortunately seems to be a law that still governs the world of today.

People who truly hold on to their ideology are often outcast as weird and have been mocked for it. But I believe that all we need is a little reminder to remind us of what we have forgotten since childhood. I still believe that if I do not believe in my dreams, no one ever will. The next time when we are about to laugh at someone because we feel that what they believe in is ridiculous, we should really all tell ourselves that we are the one who has been paralyzed by our fears and ignorance.

Confused? You should be. After all, this entry is just my normal ranting.

The next time, someone say that a single person cannot change the world. Think again.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hairy business

I'd finally gave in to the temptation of having long straight hair. Yes, i had rebonded my hair after deciding for enternity.

Speaking of hair business, i had come to realise something. That is almost all the hairdressers that i had visited, is obsessed with making me looking younger.

I'd told my hairdresser that i do not wish to cut my hair for i want to have some weight on my head. But she managed to persuade me to cut off just one inch (which she failed to follow). Somehow, they always decide that shoulder-length and heavily layered hair suits me the most because it will makes me look much younger than my age.

"You will really look much younger if you cut your hair like this"

Wow! It must be really important to look younger. I must have heard this particular sentence for upteen times.. Okies, i shouldn't complaint. It is good to look young isn't it?

Enough of my hair and back to the holidays. It has been a good one except for the fact that my heart had already flown to Cambodia while my physical body is still stuck in Singapore.. It is funny that people had the same reaction when i told them i wanna go to Cambodia..

"Why do you want to go there? There is nothing there!"

Well, i loved to visit places where there is nothing.. Haaa..

Thursday, March 09, 2006

And then, there was none

Yes, the more i count the thing i have to do, the more i realised that there is no holidays..

As the week is getting to an end, the mood in the staffroom is getting lighter. Most are preparing for the break.

I was happily writing down the list of things that i had wanna complete during the holiday and suddenly i realised that one week is not enough.. I'm once again facing the dilema of either taking a well deserved break or try to get my stuffs done. S, my collgeaue, was telling me yesterday that if she feels like going home, she would, for work is never ending. This statement struck me hard. i'd finally understand why i'm still struggling in the staffroom at 6pm everyday when most had gone home. That is because i'd chose to responsible to my students and i'm proud of it. Yes, i could have choose not to mark the students' books (no one is checking anyway) or to give them less work and worksheets.

I do feel better now though i still think that the whole term had been a hell of mad rush.. Sigh..

Maybe June will be better.. I secretly hope..

Monday, March 06, 2006

What am i doing?

The weekend has gone by in a flash again...

I have been wondering for the past few weeks on what i have been doing exactly? Every weekend, i'm torn between taking a rest or doing my work.

I hate myself when i'm not fully prepared for my lesson. I hate myself even more when i think that my lessons are so boring.. I kept asking myself, can i do better than this? Why are there people who is able to go home early everyday and yet even though i'm staying till 6 plus daily, i'm still struggling to finish my stuffs? Am i being to inefficient? Or had i failed as a teacher?

I have learned to say no to a lot of things now. I'd finally admit to myself that i'm overloading myself with too much extra stuffs that i really do not need to take up on. Why is it so difficult to say no? Is it because that i cared too much for that promotion? I think i have stand up for myself in the wrong way and i really need to learn to speak smarter. But some people are just sooooooo irritating. I can't wait for them to get transfer out. Go away, go far far away.

The soul searching journey has been making me more and more depressed by the day. It is even worse when i came out from my sec 4 class. I cannot help but questioned myself.. Do they only behaving so badly in my lesson or it is just the class? How? What methods or what other things can i do for my students? How do they see me? I think i'm thinking too much again..

Sigh.. I need to go and check if i'd prepared everything...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

This is the day where...

...I refused to do any work after the school hours.

I know i have two classes worth of books to be marked on my desk but i'm really so tired from the constant marking. I spent my weekend marking the common test papers and i spent the last few days marking the test papers again! So i decided to give myself a break even though i really couldn't afford. Heck! I guess i will have to worry abt that when i arrive for work tomorrow. For now, i shall just lay back and relax.

...I bought a pair of heels!

Since i do not wanna do any marking, i decided to do some shopping. I have been trying to look for a pair of suitable heels for my Salsa dancing but i have been trying in vain. Either the design sucks or the height is not right or there is no straps to keep my feet in place. I was about to give up when my friend asked me to check in Metro. BINGO! The moment i stepped into the shoe department, a pair of shoes caught my eye. I loved the design. When i tried it on for size, it just feel so comfortable and i knew i need not look any further. So woohoo! I have a new pair of heels.

There is really something about shopping therapy. The feeling of money felt so good that it chases negative thoughts away. Alas! I do not have the finanical to keep me in this happy state every single day. Oh well, i think i can make do with shopping once a month.

...i make up with a good friend.

Have you ever been in an arguement that is so stupid and pointless that you regret immediately the moment it is over?

Last year, i got into an arguement with a good friend of mine over the MSN. It was so trival that i had even forgotten about what we are quarrelling about. Anyway, he blocked me from his MSN and i have not spoken to him since. Weeks later, i regret about the fight and wanted to patch things up so i sms him. However, there was no reply. More weeks had passed and still he did not returned any of my sms. I started to get a little upset over it but i did nothing more than just sms him.

When i was looking through some photo just now, suddenly i realised that i have not resolved my problem with him. If i continue to let this goes on, i will lose a friend. So i braced up myself and called him on his mobile. I was prepared that he will not pick up or he might gimme a scolding when he do pick it up. However, none of the above happened. He picked it up and he is not mad at me anymore. When i asked him why he didn't reply my sms, he answered that he never received any to begin with. I was stunned. Then i realised that i have been sending msg to the number which he had cancelled 6 months ago. Hahaha.. And i thought he was angry. We have a good chat and now i have my friendship back. *piew*

Such a short day but so many things have happened. It is a wonderful day i guess...